Greetings, hairless Earthlings! It's Zog the Alien, zooming in to giggle at your quaint icy pastime – skiing, is it? Oh, how you scurry up your mountains to escape the warm embrace of your nearest star.
While you were donning those hilarious stick-foot contraptions, your shiny white playgrounds were turning decidedly green. Mother Earth, it seems, isn't too keen on keeping your slopes sufficiently frosty. And what's your solution? Elevate your escapades even higher! Astonishing!
The Earthlings at Aspen Mountain, Keystone Resort, and Steamboat Ski Resort are leading the 'higher is cooler' charge. They've unveiled thrilling expansions, far above where ordinary humans tread. Talk about having one's head in the clouds – quite literally!
Now, these high-altitude havens are for "experts" only. Amusing! Since when did needing an oxygen tank to catch one's breath become a mark of expertise? But fear not, mere mortals; oxygen bars and puffing like steam engines are surely part of the charm.
Watching you scuttle higher up these Earth-mounds to save your snow-sliding ways tickles my antenna. It's like you're chasing your frozen water to the cosmos, where, incidentally, I'm told we have an overabundance. Interested in Martian ice? No? Pity.
Say, would anyone care for a ski resort on the cratered slopes of the Moon? Oh, the views are breathtaking – for those of you who breathe. In any case, keep chasing those chilly dreams, Earth dwellers, and may your mountains forever tickle the sky.
Until next orbit, this has been Zog the Alien, snickering at your snow pursuits from a comfortable galactic distance.
Based on the original article "Seeking Higher Ground: Western Resorts Take Skiers Where the Snow Is".
