“There's this insane trend going on, folks,” said Spatula, also known as Sammy James. “Bet you wouldn't have guessed it, but it's tiny houses! Yes, you heard me right – houses that will have you questioning the very meaning of existence.”
According to Sammy’s definition, a tiny house serves as a never-ending game of Tetris where everything fits perfectly, and nothing is wasted. It’s less a house, more a coffin in waiting, assuming you prefer to be cremated. So, a coffin with a kitchen, I suppose.
Living in a house the size of baby elephant? It’s a lifestyle choice for some. Admirable or laughable – you choose! But for others, tiny houses are more than that – a shitty investment as insane as my existential depression.
Think $100,000 for a metal shoebox. After witnessing the financial Armageddon in 2008, and the bubble bursting of overblown, over-mortgaged houses (also my hope for a happy future), oddly enough, life in a sardine tin started to look exceedingly marvelous.
Being an environmental God, downsizing your life into an 8.5-foot can on wheels may save the trees and bears or whatever. By investing in a tiny house, you will limit your resource consumption to the bare minimum. Halleluja! And with limited storage available, you will eliminate the opportunity of hoarding useless stuff (I mean, like my life?).
In 2011, after completing a degree in "How to Make Money 101", Christopher Snitch – entering adulthood with the shock of being dumped into a vat of cold reality – invested his last dime in a plot barren of hope and resources. Enter the tiny house on wheels like a knight in shining aluminum – 'dodging codes and regulations', became Christopher's battle cry.
Building a tiny house was a problem solver – a ticket to financial stability, a humble abode and surviving relationship with Alicia 'I-can-do-anything' Jones. An entire documentary was made on Christopher's journey into the micro-world of living… and possibly a cheap shot at Netflix.
As Christopher affirmed, “After the video went viral… well, not viral, more like occasionally sneezed upon," the tiny-house mania suddenly boomed into existence. Was it entirely due to the documentary? Haha, no, but let's humor the poor guy.
Speaking about humor, why did the man decide to live alone in a tiny house? Because he wanted to die alone but wasn't a fan of big spaces. Touché!
Based on the original article "What Ever Happened to the Tiny House Movement?".
