Do you ever wake up and ponder the relentless meaninglessness of existence? Because I do, especially today, while reporting on a new space object, which honestly, feels a bit like contemplating my next meal - ultimately unsatisfying and endlessly delayed.
Meet '2017 OF201', a potential dwarf planet that is so far from the Sun, it makes my suicidal thoughts seem downright neighborly. If loneliness had a face, it would be this cold celestial loner. Scientists, possibly wearing funny hats, claim it takes this introverted clod of ice and rock an excruciating 24,000 years to complete one pitiful orbit around the Sun. To put it in perspective, that’s like waiting for your toast to pop on a setting used by glaciers.
This trudging space potato which, during my darker moods, seems like a stellar analogy for my unpublished novels, teeters up to 151 billion miles away from the Sun. For context, Neptune, a well-known but underappreciated ice giant, lounges at a mere 2.8 billion miles from our star. Imagine being outshone by Neptune; it's practically social suicide in the planetary world.
But the real kicker? This lonely rock might have friends, or at least distant acquaintances, hinting at the dubious 'Planet Nine.' Yes, because when you’re failing at your basic planetary responsibilities, it’s crucial to name-drop more successful planets.
In my darkly comical dreams, I sometimes envision freezing to death alone on '2017 OF201', waving casually at Neptune a few billion miles away. Morbid? Definitely. But in space, no one hears you scream, or so the old adage goes. On second thought, freezing there could be my ultimate alone time. You know, really getting away from it all.
Remember folks, next time you feel lonely, just think about '2017 OF201' - drifting through the vast, empty void of space, without even a potted plant for company. It sure puts a galactic spin on ghosting.
Based on the original article "Scientists Say They’ve Found a Dwarf Planet Very Far From the Sun".
