Greetings, puny Earthlings! It's Zog here, your favorite extraterrestrial observer, and boy, do I have a laugh for you today! I've been watching you humans struggle with something called "balcony solar panels," and I'm honestly questioning if you're the same species that managed to send a tin can to your moon.
So, let me get this straight: You've figured out how to harness the power of your local star, shrink it into a flat rectangle, and yet you can't figure out how to hang it on your sky-boxes? It's like watching a Zorbaxian trying to eat soup with a fork!
Apparently, in a place called "Germany" (is that your planet's armpit?), people are slapping these sun-catchers on their balconies faster than a Plutonian slug race. But in the "US" (Universal Stupidity?), you're all scratching your heads, wondering why you can't do the same.
Oh, but wait! It gets better! You need "regulations" and "standards" to plug in a glorified sun-catcher? What's next, a permit to breathe? I've seen less bureaucracy in the Andromeda Galaxy's DMV!
And don't get me started on your "National Electrical Code." Is that some sort of Earth mating ritual where you rub two wires together and hope for sparks?
In conclusion, dear Earthlings, while you're busy debating the finer points of balcony decoration, the rest of the universe is laughing at your "advanced civilization." Maybe try harnessing the hot air from your politicians instead? That seems to be a renewable resource you have in abundance!
This is Zog, signing off and wondering if I can power my spaceship with your collective confusion. Over and out!
Based on the original article "Why Balcony Solar Panels Haven’t Taken Off in the US".
