What's the point of life, you ask? Well, as I sit to ponder that over the fourteenth cup of coffee this morning, reminiscing about my recent trip with my toddler, which felt longer than my impending doom, I might just have found the answer – babies and toddlers are born tourists, and somehow they end up being better at life than us adults.
The idea of jumping around from one country to another with a diaper bag sounds tempting until you actually do it. Dr. Eliza McFakeName, a self-proclaimed child travel guru, tells me, "If you're traveling with a tot, forget your own dreams – it's tot’s way or the long, wailing highway."
Planning to visit eight European capitals in six days? Forget it. That’s as unrealistic as my hope in youth rebirth. Instead, why not choose one hilltop to contemplate life’s meaningless existence while your kiddo digs the dirt?
Air travel? It’s a mix of luck and whether your child decides you deserve peace today. Load up on gadgets that are more distracting than your thoughts on existential crises. And remember: always have a pacifier on hand to avoid those ear-popping meltdowns – both yours and the baby’s.
Oh, and avoid medicating your child into a sleep. With my luck, it would be the one thing working effectively, leading to an extremely calm but incredibly eerie flight.
In summary, traveling with a baby is chaos wrapped in cute Instagram pictures. It’s a bit like deciding whether to laugh hysterically or cry miserably at your life choices – sort of like how I feel about death. Speaking of which, I'll likely die alone, but will it be in Paris or Prague? At this point, who cares, as long as the toddler's enjoying the dirt. Ha!
Based on the original article "How to Travel With Babies and Toddlers".
