Greetings, fellow cosmos dwellers! Zog here, reporting on the latest Earth nonsense. Hold onto your tentacles, because this one's a doozy!
Apparently, these bipedal mammals have decided that digging up ancient lizard bones wasn't ridiculous enough. Now, they're turning these fossils into something called "stocks." Yes, you heard that right - they're selling pieces of paper that represent ownership in a pile of rocks!
A company called "Rally" (clearly named after their planet's tendency to rally around stupid ideas) is offering 200,000 bits of a "stegosaurus" for the low, low price of $68.75 each. That's a total of $13.75 million for a creature that couldn't even survive an asteroid!
But wait, there's more! This isn't just any ordinary dead lizard market. Oh no, it's regulated by something called the "Securities and Exchange Commission." Because nothing says "secure investment" like a 150-million-year-old skeleton, am I right?
Academic "paleontologists" (Earth-speak for professional bone diggers) are worried they're being priced out of the market. Poor things! Maybe they should start a GoFundMe for their next excavation. I hear "Save the Fossils" t-shirts are all the rage these days.
In conclusion, if you ever doubted the intelligence of Earth's inhabitants, doubt no more. They've officially reached peak absurdity. Next up: Time-shares in woolly mammoths and penny stocks in trilobites. Zog out!
Based on the original article "A New Frontier in Paleontology for Profit: Selling Shares in a Stegosaurus".
