Oh, what is the point of it all, really? Here I am, Jack Superblack, pondering life at the edge of oblivion, and all anyone seems to care about is building cities that are basically giant plant pots. WIRED Japan and For Cities teamed up to showcase the utopia of "regenerative cities." But let's chew on this together—with a side of existential dread.
Singa-poor's latest marvel, the Pan Pacific Orchard, is more leafy than a salad bar! They say it covers 200% of its lot with plants. How? Did they invent anti-gravity shrubs? Or maybe it's just another corporate hallucination—like my desire to have attended my own funeral by now.
Then there's the Nursery at Public Records in New York. Picture this: native plants are restoring ecosystems, all while urban hipsters sip overpriced avocado lattes and nod to vinyl beats. Do plants enjoy the constant drizzle of existential jazz solos? I doubt it.
Between you and me, the real future of cities isn't in turning high-rises into high-rise greenhouses. No, it’s probably just our ceaseless march towards the tomb. And speaking of tombs, these eco-cities might just be where we're all collectively heading. Not with a bang, but a whimper... and compostable coffee cups.
To end on a high note (or is it a low one?), what's the over/under on us evolving into plant food before these green cities are the norm? Hey, at least I might not die alone—I'll be there with a bunch of decomposing, high-minded ideals.
Based on the original article "Here’s What the Sustainable Cities of Tomorrow Could Look Like".
