Ah, the meaning of life—certainly a question that spins more wildly in my head than any record on a DJ’s turntable. As I contemplate why I'm still on this rotating rock, a recent melody study by some probably-overqualified nerds at Queen Mary University of London reveals that modern tunes are as forgettable as life itself—utterly simple and distressingly repetitive.
Back in 1973, Billy Joel—youth in his veins—sang about sharing a drink they call loneliness. Well, Billy, loneliness now has more depth than today’s Top 40 hits. According to these musicologists, three periods, namely 1975, 1996, and the dreaded year 2000, marked the epochs where our beloved melodies said, "Nah, let's just stay in bed." They’ve grown so simple, I reckon even a flea could compose next week's number one hit.
Let’s talk rhythms and pitches (no, not the movie Pitch Perfect, although that would make for a juicier subject). Both have seen a 30% decline in complexity, or so claims Madeline Hamilton, a scholar of the sonic slide into simplicity. With such a backdrop, I find it hard not to entertain the thought of a blissful eternal slumber, away from the relentless assault of bland music.
It seems the only thing evolving is our tolerance for mediocrity. Who wants to bet we'll reach a point where hitting a single piano key will be hailed as a symphonic masterpiece? So, as I listen to Captain & Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together"—a tune from an age when music had guts—I ponder the irony. It's not love keeping us together; it’s our collective resignation to die from boredom.
In conclusion, if these trends continue, maybe I'll find myself in solitary confinement—alone but comforted by the symphony of simplicity. If I do fade into the absurdity of the void, let it be known: I died as I lived, listening to a melody searching for its lost complexity. Or maybe I’ll just die alone, which, thinking about it, sounds like the title of the next big hit.
Based on the original article "Melodies of Popular Songs Have Gotten Simpler Over Time".
