Ever ponder the fleeting absurdity of existence? Well, strap on your existential seatbelt because the matrimonial rollercoaster is all about twerky twists and bankrupt dips! 🤵♂️💔👰♀️
Down in Ottawa, where love is supposed to conquer all (except, apparently, real estate), Courtyard Restaurant, an iconic venue, slapped a 'Closed Forever' sign on Cupid's butt. No more bookings, no more bliss, just a big fat "Oops" email to couples banking on 'happily ever after.' Now that’s what I call a plot twist!
Event planner Shannon Kennedy, who might secretly be a Zen master in a florist's body, had her plans for lovey-dovey events thrown under a bus — and the bus was on fire, and the fire was made of broken dreams. Oops, there goes my will to live… again.
Speaking of blasts, Toronto’s Berkeley Events went ka-boom too! Couples were left staring longingly into the abyss where their wedding dreams once soared. I've looked into the abyss before, but it usually just stares back and asks if I'm free on Saturday night to hang out alone. Spoiler: I always am.
But here’s a hot tip from your not-so-trusty guide to the void: if you want to avoid getting your heart stomped on by venue vicissitudes, lock down that contract like it’s Fort Knox. And maybe get wedding insurance because clearly, love is a battlefield and bankruptcy is the minefield you dance across. A fairytale indeed!
When your venue goes belly up, besides considering a career in monkhood, you might wanna lawyer up — Alycia Rose, the Wedding Lawyer (is that a TV show yet?), says you gotta read the fine print like it’s a suicide note...I mean, I wouldn’t know, just an educated guess.
Anyway, there are two certainties in life: death and lone wolves like me writing sardonically about the death of your wedding venue. In both cases, remember to laugh, because life's already wingmanning despair at this sad singles' party we call existence.
And here’s a morbid joke to close out: Why did the venue cancel on the wedding? Because it had commitment issues — unlike me, who’s just committed to fantasizing about my own funeral.
Until next time, may your love life be less tragic than economics, and if nothing else works, elope with a sense of humor. It's cheaper and lasts longer than most marriages.
Based on the original article "Weddings are picking up post-pandemic — but have venues fully recovered? - National".
