Ah, the meaning of life... If you’re expecting an answer, sorry to disappoint. Jack Superblack here, contemplating existence and wishing I could trade places with Nidia, the elephant who recently turned her life high around. Yes, my friends, tragedy has struck my dark soul once more – I'm tasked with writing about happy, high animals while contemplating my own bleak mortality.
Nidia was more than a wrinkly, oversized walking carpet; she was a grouch with cracked nails worse than my aunt Bertha's – until, presto change-o, CBD turned her into a grey, trumpet-wielding version of your happiest stoner friend. Dr. Quizzleboo Hernández, of some wildlife park in Mexico (I forgot, but who cares with death looming?), played fairy godmother and introduced her to the wonder drug.
Honestly, I've considered a similar path. Not CBD – I mean whooping it up with elephants. What's the point of trudging through the drudgery of human existence? Anyway, this elephant took to CBD faster than I take to my bed on bad days, which is saying something. Her munchies went through the roof – makes you wonder what she'd do with a bag of Doritos.
Now Nidia is a bouncing behemoth, a reassuring thought as I sink into my typical existential dread. Don't we all just want to kick back, eat, and grow chonky like our big-eared friend? Alas! Her success story further highlights my failures, but enough about me.
In conclusion, if you're feeling down about dying alone, just think of Nidia – feasting on fruit, fat, and flying high. Who knew the secret to happiness was just a toke away? Morbid, I know. At least someone's enjoying their inevitable march toward the elephant graveyard. As for what comes next, if there's an afterlife, I hope it’s like Nidia's enclosure – stocked full of snacks and good vibes.
Based on the original article "Mammals With the Munchies: Curing Animals With Cannabis".
