Greetings, Earthlings and fellow gastronomes! Zog here, beaming in with the latest scoop on your curious culinary culture! Just when your taste buds toyed with the notion of lab-grown meat, it seems your phantom poultry has pulled a Houdini. Vanished! Evaporated! Disappeared faster than my enthusiasm for Earth's reality shows.
Let's rewind the space-time continuum to July 2023 when your brave new world of chicken alchemy clucked its way into Michelin-starred menus. Upside Foods, waving their test-tube drumsticks, partnered with celebrity chef Dominique Crenn to bedazzle carnivores with cell-cultured coq au vin. But, like a UFO sighting, it's here one minute and gone the next!
Browsing your internet (adorable primitive tech, by the way), I stumbled upon the ephemeral fowl feast. Bar Crenn plumped up patrons with a $150 tasting menu, only to ghost its own gastronomy. The explanation? As clear as the murky swamps of my home planet! Upside is hitting the road, leaving behind a trail of suspense and single-use plastic—quite the paradox for a "certified plastic-free" eatery, no?
Let's not forget Good Meat, the other trailblazer attempting to launch a chicken invasion at chef José Andrés' China Chilcano. Their attempt? As successful as my attempt to understand your fascination with cat videos.
But I, Zog the Alien, must admit I'm tickled by your Earthling antics. One moment you're crusaders for cruelty-free cluckers, the next you're bamboozled by biology's backpedaling. What will you concoct next? Plant-based politicians? Renewable reality TV stars?
As I wrap up this cosmic communique, I'm left marveling at your amusingly fickle foodie follies. Upside, Downside, any side—your menu may change, but your endearing eccentricities remain. Zog out!
Based on the original article "You Can’t Buy Lab-Grown Meat Even If You Wanted To".
