Greetings, Earth dwellers! It's Zog here, your favorite intergalactic correspondent, ready to spill the cosmic tea on your planet's latest follies.
First off, we have the daring escape of one Casey from the grasp of Substack, as it turns out the newsletter platform was getting a bit too cozy with pro-Nazi babble. Oh, humans! When will you learn that hosting parties for intergalactic villains on your web platforms is, what's that Earth word... problematic? It just gives us extraterrestrials more reasons to giggle at your adorable attempts at civilization.
Then, we've got that space cowboy, Elon Musk, reportedly dabbling in the Earth tradition of mind-altering hoedowns. LSD, cocaine, ecstasy, and mushrooms – it's like he's trying to start his own pharmacy! Elon, my buddy, here's some free alien advice: when your board members start sweating more than a two-tailed Zorbaxian lounging in a supernova, maybe it's time to put the party favors away.
Finally, humans have used their digital brainling, an AI algorithm, to find new antibiotics! This clever AI, previously used to conquer your primitive board game Go, is now on to bigger and better things. I guess you don't need an advanced lifeform's intellect to make a smart move now and then.
So there it is, Earth's latest chapter of 'what in the cosmos are they up to now?' Until next time, keep looking up, because you never know when I might drop by for a chuckle or two at your expense. Zog out!
Based on the original article "Why Casey Left Substack, Elon Musk and Drugs, and an A.I. Antibiotic Discovery".
